Strengthening Your Relationship With Dad

This Sunday, Father’s Day, we remember the good men who have blessed and influenced our lives – especially fathers. 

 "Earthly Father, Heavenly Father" - Mormon Message

Research has shown that fathers have a direct influence on the lives of their children. Children who have a good relationship with their father typically have greater cognitive ability, educational achievement, psychological well-being, and social behavior. These benefits can extend into adolescence and adulthood.

Even as a distant college student, there are things you can do to strengthen the relationship you have with your dad. Here are three simple suggestions for improving your relationship with your father given by Elder M. Russell Ballard.

1.    First, trust your father. He is not perfect, but he loves you and would never do anything he didn’t think was in your best interest. So talk to him. Share your thoughts and feelings, your dreams and your fears. The more he knows about your life, the better chance he has to understand your concerns and to give you good counsel. When you put your trust in your dad, he will feel the responsibility of that trust and try harder than ever to understand and to help. As your father, he is entitled to inspiration on your behalf. His advice to you will be the heartfelt expressions of someone who knows and loves you. Your dad wants more than anything for you to be happy and successful, so why would you not want to trust someone like that? Boys [and girls], trust your dad.

2.    Second, take an interest in your father’s life. Ask about his job, his interests, his goals. How did he decide to do the work that he does? What was he like when he was your age? How did he meet your mother? And as you learn more about him, you may find that his experiences help you to better understand why he responds the way that he does. Watch your dad. Watch how he treats your mother. Watch how he performs his Church callings. Watch how he interacts with other people. You will be surprised what you learn about him just by watching him and listening to him. Think about what you don’t know about him and find out. Your love, admiration, and understanding will increase by what you learn. Boys [and girls], be interested in your dad’s life.

3.    And third, ask your father for advice. Let’s be honest: he is probably going to give you his advice whether you ask for it or not, but it just works so much better when you ask! Ask for his advice on Church activity, on classes, on friends, on school, on dating, on sports or other hobbies. Ask for his counsel on your Church assignments, on preparing for your mission, on decisions or choices you have to make. Nothing shows respect for another person as much as asking for his advice, because what you are really saying when you ask for advice is, “I appreciate what you know and the experiences you have had, and I value your ideas and suggestions.” Those are nice things for a father to hear from his son.

Sources:
Ballard, M. Russell. "Fathers and Sons: A Remarkable Relationship." LDS.org. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Oct. 2009. Web. 10 June 2013. <http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/fathers-and-sons-a-remarkable-relationship?lang=eng>.

Rosenberg, Jeffrey, and Bradford W. Wilcox. "The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children." Child Welfare Information Gateway. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, 2006. Web. 10 June 2013. <https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm>.